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18 May 2008 @ 10:27 pm
Coming to Peace with Peace  
Title: Coming to Peace with Peace
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Alice/Jasper!
Rating: PG
Summary: Jasper reflects on his time thus far with Alice just before they set out for Washington State.
AN: Twilight belongs to S.Meyer. Written for the adventure prompt at fridaydrabble. Mild spoilers through Eclipse about Jasper's history.
Word Count: 1459

Coming to Peace with Peace

From the first moment I met her, my life took a sharp turn in an unknown direction. First, there were her feeding habits. She'd already started on something she'd "seen", and I didn't understand, but I followed her lead. She wanted this more than anything, wanted to be around people. She couldn't remember any before except loneliness, so she craved the company of others-- of humans, who were most often all she had for company. Her escape was not one I'd considered, but I found that the watery blood of fresh game could be made worthwhile simply by her presence. I likewise relished my own (permanent?) respite from the roiling turmoil of terror and pain that simply trying to stay alive brought down on me. I cannot describe the surreality of causing and feeling agony simultaneously. I wish I could forget.

She knew me. I didn't know her from a load of oats, but that didn't hinder her. Our world is a world laced with betrayals and murder, and yet she trusted me more than anyone ever had before. I couldn't do a thing in response except attempt to be worthy of it. I sometimes felt like there'd been some mistake. Maybe she thought I was someone else. Once, I said so. She laughed at me and began to tell me about myself.

Her mood swings were rapid, but almost always joyous. Her emotions danced as nimbly as her feet, and the motion of them made me giddy as if I were clinging to the back of a runaway horse. This strange, small creature (I say creature, but oh, she was a woman! She proved that to me soon enough) had somehow decided she was mine, a lost dog following me home. Only I'd been the one who was lost.

The day she'd been waiting for like a child for Christmas finally came. I didn't know what was special about it, except that we were going to find those people from her vision that she talked about sometimes. She swelled, crested, and troughed through excitement, giddiness, nervousness, impatience, and a million emotions that flew by too quickly like the scenery outside a speeding train, just as beautiful and exhilarating.

"Oh," she groaned, running through impatience at the moment, "Jasper, we're going to be late. Can't you pack any faster?"

"Late for what? No one's expecting us anywhere!" I laughed. You really couldn't be late if, in delaying yourself, you just shifted that future to a new vision of something later, could you?

She turned to me and her eyes glazed over. "The car I'm going to steal... the owner will leave it on the curb in ten minutes. You must be ready to go by then. I really hate cloth seats and the next car that'll get parked there... Come on!"

I folded the last of my clothes into my bag silently and pulled it onto my shoulder. I then proceeded to gather her five or six bags, as well.

"No, I can carry--" she started.

"It's fine, I've got it."

"Jasper, don't be--"

"I said it's fine," I smiled down at her. We didn't move for a few long seconds. "Well? Ladies first," I finally broke the silence, nodding towards the door. She bobbed and danced her way down the stairs while I swayed under her bags-- not from the weight, but the bulk. They kept hitting the walls and banging the railing.

"You wait here," she told me at the bottom of the stairwell. "I'll go check out of the hotel and be right back." Her eyes glazed slightly and she nodded, smiling. I didn't question her, or fear. No one would be coming, putting themselves at risk unwittingly by their proximity to me, or else she would not have left. Her presence and prescience combined to make a sort of security gate around my sometimes-slippery self-control. She didn't judge me for it, and I didn't thank her either. It was just how we were, now. It might be this way forever. Alice said I would get used to it, but I was skeptical.

She finally returned and we whisked into the breezy night air of Denver, Colorado. I love the smell of the mountains. I always have, since I was a boy and my father would take my hunting up in the Chisos. I don't remember much from my boyhood, but I remember riding with my father, learning to shoot at rodents from atop a horse with my .30-30. I couldn't have been yet seven years old, and I'd owned my own horse and gun. Times had certainly changed.

The memory was a good one, but it always took me bad places. I had loved my home so blindly. I remember that we owned slaves. Not many; we weren't rich. I remembered shooting an Indian in some sort of skirmish-- the first man I'd killed. I must have been ten or twelve. I was eager to join the Confederate Army, and, like many of my fellow Texicans, they shipped me off for cavalry to serve under other states' commanders. I'd been good at it, spectacular even. I was an excellent horseman, sharp-shooter, and possessed other skills besides. The ending that had come of it all, though, was one I would have preferred to pass on. Now I could see what my life had become. I could scarcely remember an existence before violence. I could no longer remember why I thought I should join the Confederacy. Likely I'd had no reason. I could not believe that these hands, hands that had learned to touch Alice so tenderly, to bring her such joy, had killed so many that I couldn't keep count past one: that Indian, and then everyone else. It was as if he stood for them all. Maybe he did. They say the first time you take a life changes you. Maybe this is why I can't remember peace.

In the future, though, I would remember peace. These weeks with Alice had been the best of my existence, and the one thing they were above all others was peaceful. From the day I met her, I knew I'd found my savior, I knew hope and excitement and a quiet room, a lover's hand. Now here I was, climbing into a brand new Aston Martin (no one can say she doesn't have taste!)-- with leather seats, of course. We were driving halfway across the country on a whim, little better than a dream. Still, I knew I believed in her dreams, in all of them. It was why I was here, why I'd taken to feeding on animals, why I was hot-wiring someone else's car. I thrummed with nervousness, but the edge was abated with the excitement and euphoria Alice was pouring into the air like a scent.

"What are you so happy about, anyway?" I asked once we were on the road. "They might not like us after all, you know." By "us" I meant himself. Alice would hear that in my voice.

"They will," she sang.

I nodded grimly.

"Oh don't be such a pessimist." She poked me in the arm. "Isn't this just the greatest adventure ever? We're going to find our family! To stay with them! Forever! I can't wait to meet them in person. Oh, I should tell you about them! I can't believe I haven't even told you. Their house is so gorgeous. It's got an entire side made of windows."

"Made of windows?"

"Edward has this amazing stereo system--"

"Edward?"

"Oh! Um, he's the one with the reddish hair."

"Can't say as I've met him."

She laughed. "This is hard, describing people I've never met and that you've never seen. This really is an adventure."

I smiled and shook my head. My life had not been lacking in adventure. My greatest adventure so far, though, was this miraculous woman. We'd come together like a lock and key forged in different universes but meant to fit, and perfectly so. Alice had foreseen that. She had waited for me long before I knew she existed.

She had foreseen this also. I cocked my head. "Maybe," I answered quietly. "It could be a great adventure, meeting new people, having a... family."

"Will be!" Alice clapped her hands as if she were a goddess who had just made it come true, all discussions final.

"Let's hope," I answered, but I was grinning. Her joy was dangerously contagious. "Because one way or another, we'll be in Washington in about twelve hours."

She smiled at the dark highway ahead, her gaze far-off. "Rosalie has the most beautiful car. I wonder if she'll let me drive it."
 
 
Current Location: St. Paul, MN
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Bloody Jack Flint: Tofurhye on May 23rd, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Same here. And Carlisle and Esme, though we know almost nothing about their past. Thanks for the compliment :)
d: T Jasper & Alice in the woodsnebakanezer on May 19th, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
That was so perfect! I loved how the wording really showed that Jasper was from another generation. These are my favorite parts:

Maybe she thought I was someone else. Once, I said so. She laughed at me and began to tell me about myself.

had somehow decided she was mine, a lost dog following me home. Only I'd been the one who was lost.

I thrummed with nervousness, but the edge was abated with the excitement and euphoria Alice was pouring into the air like a scent.

My greatest adventure so far, though, was this miraculous woman. We'd come together like a lock and key forged in different universes but meant to fit, and perfectly so. Alice had foreseen that. She had waited for me long before I knew she existed.

So beautiful. And the aston martin, that was fun. Does Alice give the car to Edward I wonder as a gift or does Edward covet her car and go buy one for himself. :)
Bloody Jack Flint: Kanji Harmonyrhye on May 23rd, 2008 03:44 am (UTC)
Aston Martin, yeah! I imagine Alice turned it back in somehow (or else I have difficulty imagining her giving it away), but likely she would no have turned it back in before some family members got test drives, right? :)

I'm glad the wording worked. I wanted to both have that throw-back to the mid-19th century, but not make him look like he's been living under a rock either.

Thanks for the lovely comment and for reading!
Alexia Lisa Drake: Sexyalexia_drake on May 20th, 2008 06:02 am (UTC)
That made me smile: "Well? Ladies first," I finally broke the silence, nodding towards the door.

Nicely written: I thrummed with nervousness, but the edge was abated with the excitement and euphoria Alice was pouring into the air like a scent.

Poor Jasper, I wish I could give him a big hug sometimes, but at least he's happy with Alice & the Cullens.

I love that couple and their power/gift make things even more interesting. Great One Shot :)
Bloody Jack Flint: EdwardxBella Laughing Hushrhye on May 23rd, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Yeah, Jasper's in an interesting position. He's the equivalent of a pitt bull that was in dog fights day in and day out. Pitt bulls are such such sweet dogs, and they love people, but once they've gotten used to being afraid and biting, they're not safe to be around. Some trainers work specifically on rehab-ing fighting dogs. Some fighting dogs never do get rehabbed. Jasper's doing really well. But that's really it: sweet as can be, but was trained for the most violent kind of interactions.

Alice is good for him :)

Thanks for reading!
nature_melodynature_melody on May 26th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
Love it! Jasper and Alice are so... amazing. I loved the way you captured their personalities.
Bloody Jack Flint: EdwardxBella Laughing Hushrhye on May 26th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you! This was my first time ever writing them, so it was a fun adventure.
Ms. Friday: Alicei_am_girlfriday on June 7th, 2008 04:45 pm (UTC)
Even though I love Jasper, you really showed me what kind of monster he was before Alice. It's amazing what love can do :)