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05 February 2008 @ 11:01 pm
Of Ruts and Grooves  
Title: Of Ruts and Grooves
Fandom: BBM
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references
Summary: Ennis never realized how deep he'd dug himself in until he couldn't get out. Canon drabble spanning some time, including some dead!Jack.
AN: Unbeta'd.
Word Count: 232

Of Ruts and Grooves

He could still feel the imprint of her in the air. Not long ago, she'd spent the night, made a place for herself in the small shack.

For the first few months he'd lived there after the divorce, Ennis thought often of Jack. The winds wailed unbroken, his place unprotected and alone. He'd pause in the gravel driveway where Jack had stood only once and listen to the stones stir. He did it so often that he wore a shallow rut, a place for rainwater to collect. When he saw it, a physical mark on the earth, he stopped returning there.

Only years later was that driveway to know a third truck. He didn't like to think of her because he could not deny that though she was his second woman, she was his third. The realization screamed in to unacknowledged silences of his dreams. It spoke the man's name.

At first he thought maybe it was Alma, and Cassie could do better, make his other needs go away. He wasn't sure he wanted them to. But Cassie was no different: warm, wet, willing, but nothing else, nothing more. She came around when it pleased her and he let that be.

After Jack died, Ennis moved out of the place in a hurry. He'd only lain with one person there and it wasn't the right one. He'd only one the one groove deep enough to stick.
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Current Location: St. Paul, MN
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Robot Chicken
 
 
 
testa_duratesta_dura on February 6th, 2008 05:31 am (UTC)
Wow. I thought you other piece was insightful but this blew me away. You crawled inside Ennis's heart, head, skin - wow.

I remember what Larry McMurtry said about his immediate reaction to Brokeback Mountain: "I wish I'd written it."

Yeah, me too.

Tes
bmshirtsbmshirts on February 6th, 2008 08:36 am (UTC)
Of Ruts And Grooves
Just great! No matter whether it's Alma or Cassie, no one matters to Ennis but Jack, and now it's too late. Thanks. Carole
kmdlrdkmdlrd on February 6th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
Amazing - you are really channelling Ennis right now. Thanks - B
coffeecat33 on February 7th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
evocative well-done and thoughtful
jtsbar on February 7th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
The winds wailed unbroken, his place unprotected and alone. He'd pause in the gravel driveway where Jack had stood only once and listen to the stones stir.

Beautiful, and sad, and true.
Thank you.
sweetjesweetje on February 14th, 2008 12:55 pm (UTC)
Very nice piece. It showed the loneleness Ennis was feeling without Jack. : )
Debra