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19 September 2007 @ 11:11 am
Duality: Chapter 5  
Title: Duality: Chapter 5
Fandom: BBM/RPS Crossover
Rating: R for the whole
Disclaimer: The people named Jake and Heath in this story aren't really Jake and Heath, but fictional characters that seem a lot like Jake and Heath *wink* Furthermore, the characters Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx et al. Either way, no one's paying me to write this.
Summary: Reincarnation fic-- Jake is Jack is Jake, Heath is Ennis is Heath.
AN: Thanks to bcatjr for the beta. I promise the next update won't take so monstrously long!
All Chapters

Chapter 5

Jack stood outside the townhouse, chain smoking his way through the late afternoon. She'd invited him in, but he couldn't go. Michelle was his friend, dammit. He loved her. He couldn't be there when Heath told her... maybe that made him a coward. He was sure it made him a coward. He lit up another cigarette and tried to get his emotions under control. He was shaking like a wet puppy. Jake had never shook like this, not in his memory, but before that... yeah, Jack had used to have this shaking problem. It had probably been a part of that body, which was different from this body, but it seemed like some things could bring back old habits. A run-out horse. That's what Ennis used to say. "You know you're shakin' like a run-out horse?" Jack laughed against another newly-lit cigarette. It was a nervous, pained laugh. He was all too aware of what was going on within these walls: one of his best friends telling another of his best friends, the mother of his godbaby... Christ, Matilda. What if she kept them... Jack threw the cigarette hard towards the ground even though it wasn't down to the filter yet, and pulled out another. He had money to burn, and today he wanted to burn it in the form of cigarettes, each one promising a new beginning as he lit it. Maybe this one could calm his nerves like the one before it had been unable to do.

Michelle had to understand. She wasn't Alma. She was reasonable. And she'd made Brokeback with them. She'd sat around the table late at night and mustered up a couple swear words about how Ennis had treated Jack. They'd all had a good laugh at the time. No, even that wasn't true. Jack remembered his own laugh had been hollow and sad. Heath's laugh had been fake. Shit, for sure they'd known back then. For sure they'd maybe always known, but never...

Well, Michelle would want them to be together. They'd vowed to tell her everything just as it was. Maybe she would figure they were crazy and deserved to be together on that account. Maybe she would believe the real story. Either way, things weren't the same as Heath leaving Michelle, and Michelle had to know that. Had to.

Jack was making himself sick with all his thoughts running in circles. Next up? Who? Parents? Mags? Friends? Parents, then Mags. Then friends. Would he-- he couldn't tell his parents everything could he? It was bad enough having to tell them you're gay, but to tell them you're gay because somehow you're the reincarnation of a fictional character? Fuck, they'd commit him for sure. Jack turned to watch the door of the townhouse, suddenly feeling bad for sending his man, his other half, into the first such situation all alone.

Jack pulled out his cell phone, and ten minutes later had two seats on a next-morning flight to LA. He'd tell Maggie first, because she deserved to hear it in person, and because, well, he needed to. She was and had always been his safe place to fall, his fucking big sister, and she would make everything alright just like she always did. The next call he made was to Maggie.

********

Heath went into his home with more fear and trepidation than he'd remembered feeling for a long time.

"Michelle?" he called out.

"Folding laundry," she responded.

He walked carefully and quietly in the direction from whence her voice had come. He found her as she had claimed, laying out a pile of folded towels on the bed.

"I... can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Huh?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Where's Matilda?"

"Nap. What do you want for dinner? I was thinking of baking something."

"I can't... I need to talk to you." He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"What about?" She was still holding an unfolded towel. He reached over and pulled it from her hands, laying it back across the laundry basket.

"I think... I think I need a divorce."

"Huh?" She didn't seem angry. She just started at him.

"I--"

"Are you feeling ok?"

"I feel fine."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Then why--"

"I mean, something is going on." Heath shook his head to clear it. This conversation was going wrong already. "Look, I... I'm not who you think I am."

"You're not?"

"No."

"You're not Heath Ledger?" Her voice was heavily loaded with sarcasm.

"No! I mean yes. I mean yes, I am, but I'm not."

"Well then who--"

"Listen, Michelle, if I start talking, can you just listen for a minute? This is hard enough without answering questions, too."

"I... alright." She sat down on the edge of the bed, right on top of some folded towels, and likewise folded her arms.

Heath turned towards the window. He had to pretend he was talking to thin air and not to her. "I think I'm a reincarnation or something. I mean, like I have someone else's memories, and they're starting to take over mine. What's more, that someone else was in love, too, and now I'm falling for who he was in love with because I'm in love with... that person. Who's also reincarnated. As someone else. But... that person's starting to remember who they are... were... are, as well, and now we're... Well, I've cheated on you, Michelle, and I need a divorce so I can give him what I couldn't the first time around..." Heath's voice tightened with emotion. "I just can't make that up to you. I don't know how. But..."

"Him?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'him.'"

Heath exhaled, hard, but didn't say anything more.

"You don't seem ok, honestly. Maybe you should talk to someone."

Something snapped in Heath. Michelle had always believed him, even at his craziest, and just now he needed her faith more than ever. "I don't need to talk to someone, dammit! I know what's going on in my own head! It scares the bloody fuck out of me! But it's the truth, Michelle."

"Hey, hey, calm down," she hissed, stepping closer and laying a hand on his shoulder. "What did you mean when you said that you cheated on me?"

He huffed out a breath. "I meant I just spent the night in a hotel room fucking someone who wasn't you!"

She withdrew her hand and her jaw dropped. A towel from where she'd been sitting slipped to the floor, making a quiet landing on the carpet below. "Get out," she whispered into the broken silence.

"Fair enough," Heath nodded. He gathered his bags and started packing them.

"Who was she?" Michelle asked after a couple minutes, her voice full of venom.

"He," Heath answered.

"He," Michelle ground out the word as if she could break it with just her mouth. "Who was he?"

Heath zipped his suitcase and looked up at her with earnest, dark eyes. "You don't want to know."

"I want to know."

"Jack Twist."

Not even a towel dared to break the silence that followed. Heath shook himself out of Michelle's arresting glare long enough to grab his toiletries, kiss his sleeping daughter as quickly as he could, for this was nothing she should be awake for, and headed for the door without once turning around. He remembered with some other mind the sensation of holding Alma and Junior, of kissing Alma before going off with Jack, but it was not a mistake he was going to make here today. If someone was going to get hurt, this time it would not be Jack.
 
 
Current Location: Minneapolis, MN
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: Jewel - Do You
 
 
 
geordie3 on September 19th, 2007 05:08 pm (UTC)
I just adore this story. Thanks for updating.
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 20th, 2007 04:19 am (UTC)
Thank you for sticking with it even though there has been so long between updates. I promise the next update won't be so long in coming.
Ramonamaskari66 on September 19th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)
Hi Thanks a lot for the update.. Cheers
Ramona
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 20th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm so glad people are still reading this!
carol1943 on September 19th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC)
I'm a sucker for H/J RPS and RPS with a Twist? Sucker-squared!

Carol
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 20th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
Hehe! I'm always glad to sucker people in! Thanks for giving it a try.
jackien1968jackien1968 on September 19th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
I love this story. I think Jack/Jake and Michelle need to get face-to-face, but this probably hadn't been the time for that.

Hey, it was great getting to meet you even though we didn't really hang out. I missed trascendenza and a few other people, but I saw on her profile that she lives on the North Bay, and since I live in the East Bay, maybe I can finagle something with her even without my having a car.

A big hug to you,
Jackie
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 20th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
I know, there were so many people and I think everyone mostly fractioned into small groups for the weekend. Oh well, maybe more another time? Wish you could have sat with us for dim sum! I'm sure I'll be coming back to SF some day.
jackien1968jackien1968 on September 20th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC)
I probably should have switched tables when I realized there were so many people I knew at your table. Mom suggested it after seeing me jumping up and down squealing when I got to meet Tes and then you. But I didn't feel right blowing off the person I knew and new people I had just met at that first table we'd sat at, so I opted to stay put. I kind of thought there'd be more chance for mingling at Fuzio and the theater.

I wish I could come to DC next month, but there's no possible way.

Hey, if we can convince the Castro to do it again next year, I'll at least see you then, right?

Hugs,
Jackie
Bloody Jack Flint: InuKag: Fantasies Come Truerhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I really disliked Fuzio's. They ran out of sangria :( And ice. wtf!? What kind of bar runs out of ice? And they never delivered our food, either. *pout* I can't make any predications about future years, though, as having the dough for that kind of trip is a luxury in my life, but one I'm desperately budgeting to make a steady luxury since I had so much fun.
lolitaray: Jake smilinglolitaray on September 20th, 2007 02:20 am (UTC)
I love this story, it's intriguing and confusing and I actually really, really feel sorry for Michelle. And for Heath as well, for that matter!

An incredible concept - and really enjoyable to read. :)
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 20th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
I hope confusing in a good way and not in a bad way :/ I'm glad you like it, though!
rouxbrouxb on September 20th, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
Hooray for the update! I was so intrigued by this when I first started it and was afraid it was lost under some laundry. I quite pleased it has been found.
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Oh yes, there'll even be more soonish. Hey, weren't you supposed to be in SF? I looked for you, but I guess I must have missed you.
Julie120cassie on September 20th, 2007 08:23 am (UTC)
Hi

Thanks for updating. Very intriguing story.

I liked this:

**He remembered with some other mind the sensation of holding Alma and Junior, of kissing Alma before going off with Jack, but it was not a mistake he was going to make here today. If someone was going to get hurt, this time it would not be Jack.** - sounds very determined


Julie
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading! It is a little bit of a brain twister, but I'm enjoying writing it for that reason.
MadBottomsmadbottoms on September 20th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC)
Just read the whole five parts after seeing the update for this recent one. It's an interesting concept and I really look forward to see how they go.

Sandy
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the encouragement. The sixth chapter I already beta's so I don't have a good excuse for not having it up yet, I'm afraid...
elena_62elena_62 on September 20th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
Dear Jess,

Duality is absolutely original and well written. I wouldn't stop reading even if you would write a chapter every 6 months (it' s just an exemple, don't take it literally ;-).

I like it a lot, it has an intense quality. And I like the premise:
''If someone was going to get hurt, this time it would not be Jack''.

Thank you!
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
lol, I won't take that literally! I'm trying to keep up the intensity, specifically because so little time has passed in the five (well, really, six already though I haven't posted one) chapters, it really needs to dig into their emotions, but I want it to do so subtly as well. Thanks for reading!
sweetjesweetje on September 20th, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
Poor Heath/Ennis. He is so brave to admit to Michelle that he was in love with Jake/Jack, and he seems to be ready to leave with his love this time.
Jake/Jack always knows that he can count on Jake's sister, Maggie to understand his dilemma. If anyone will understand and support him, it would be Maggie.

Great chapter. I am really enjoying this story, and I'm actually beginning to understand who is who, and that's a littl frightening...lol... : )
Debra
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you would think so about Maggie, huh? *wink* I just mean to say, people are complicated. I'm glad to see it's not too hard to understand after all! I don't think it is, but I have the added advantage of knowing what is going on already :) Thanks for reading.
bbmjack324 on September 21st, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
SO GOOD! Glad Ennis is determined not to hurt Jack this time. What's more, that someone else was in love, too, and now I'm falling for who he was in love with because I'm in love with... that person. Who's also reincarnated. ...

He huffed out a breath. "I meant I just spent the night in a hotel room fucking someone who wasn't you!"... If someone was going to get hurt, this time it would not be Jack.
Bloody Jack Flint: Childhood: Memoriesrhye on September 22nd, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
Than you so much for reading and for the encouragement!
blackbird_yblackbird_y on August 11th, 2012 02:24 am (UTC)
... "He," Michelle ground out the word as if she could break it with just her mouth. "Who was he?"

Heath zipped his suitcase and looked up at her with earnest, dark eyes. "You don't want to know."

"I want to know."

"Jack Twist."

*shudder*

Awesome.

Nev