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30 December 2015 @ 12:18 am
Dad  

My dad visited from Christmas eve until he flew out this morning. Everything was totally great until yesterday, when Andy went back to work. My dad suddenly lost it at us.

My dad called my son a mean kid to his face and then told me my messy house is ruining my kids and that the fact that I won't get rid of my dogs proves I've picked my dogs over my kids. He said all of this in front of my four year old while I did nothing but cry, mostly because I did not want to fight in front of the kids.

I asked him to leave so he went to his hotel and he had a very early morning flight but I was so afraid because snow was coming but his plane took off on time.

He was verbally abusive to me when I was 3 to about 10. Now I'm feeling a little frightened and lost. Please just reassure me that my house is not so messy that I am running my kids for life or whatever. I already know I have the least mean kid of all time. Get this, he also said my son is a little behind with speaking. Those who know him will know how ridiculous that is to say!

Ultimately, I know he was way off base. My house is messy but not, like, cps messy, and I think there are much much more important things in the lives of children than clean houses. But it was weird when he started yelling at me how I was suddenly a ten year old, frightened, and believing everything I was hearing with all my heart. I can't let him say things in front of my son because I can't let my son internalize these things like I did. And even now when I know he was spewing crazy, I still find myself repeatedly justifying that fact to myself.

My mom says to expect it to get worse as he ages. He is 70 and very active but his dad was dead of a heart condition by this age and his mom lived to be 84 but extremely senile. His mom was emotionally and physically violent all her life so it's hard to say if she got worse as she aged.

I'm feeling better now that he is out of the state. But I have decided I do not want to be alone with him without a man present ever again because that was frightening. And he respects men more than women and never says anything mean to me in front of Andy.

Plus he kept commenting on how "desegregated" Saint Paul is. I think the word you are looking for is diverse.

 
 
 
astrogeek01astrogeek01 on December 30th, 2015 05:25 pm (UTC)
Your house is not *dirty*, it is a little cluttered but that's to be expected. When you have kids, there's no way around that. Fuck him and his asshole verbal abuse. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and protect your kids.

*hug*

*more hugs*